the doors blow down

I have been listening for two months now and have now recently reached my comfort zone. Two weeks ago I had a change to my map using what is called a "Gain" on 10 electrodes. I had expressed to the audiologist that I felt that these few electrodes were not working well for me. This significant feature 'Gain' I am not sure what the purpose is but it felt as if the loose and echoing signals I'd been having became settled and more rich with clarity. I felt a familiarity not unlike my former experience with a good hearing aid. The echoing stopped, the hissing of the running water and other issues have stopped bothering me and now I enter any new space comfortable and without much adjustment. It was quite an ordeal to enter the classroom with the little children's high pitched voices and that seems to be behind me now.

I have been practicing listening on the phone and am doing very well with familiar voices! My mom and I can carry a lengthy conversation without trouble. It is two months activation and I'd never have expected such a good result. Now I need phone buddies to practice with! I have a new landline phone, a cordless Panasonic 5.8 Gigahertz. It has a voice enhancer and voices are sounding better on it all the time. I also picked up a headset to plug into it and this makes a huge difference to the quality of hearing, mainly because the headset sits fixed over the microphone on the processor and eliminates any rubbing noise that I was enduring with holding the phone over the ear.

Last night I went to my daughters Year End Band Concert at their high school. What a joy that was - I still have a ways to go as far as making sense of some of the sounds but I felt connected to the event and I was tapping to the beat without trouble. The music teacher would speak into the mike and though I was able to pick more words than ever before, I wasn't able to understand what he was saying beyond the expected such as the name of a song about to be performed. (Of course the gym is not good for acoustics!) I used cues from the program flyer to recognize words. An enjoyable experience I had was being able to socialize in this setting and hear voices directly in front of me using a program on the processor called "Beam."

Last week I saw the girls receive their awards at a school-held ceremony. The acoustics were good in the auditorium. I was quite taken with the microphone used by the speakers. The words were coming through clear on my CI. It's got to get better next year when I can make out the speeches.

Most CI recipients share that it takes a year to be comfortable with the device and the listening ability continues to improve. I can only imagine what that might be like...if sounds for me are improved now, how much better can it get?? It's an exciting thought.

I experienced an afternoon in the park on the weekend and listened to a massive melody of birds singing. (That can get very noisy!) At one point a very loud and unfamiliar sound overwhelmed the space and when we searched for it, we found two squirrels on the tree making chatter. That was interesting! I never knew squirrels make such loud noises other than chew on nuts?

I've been listening to books on tape. What I do is read the book to the tape several times then take the tape with me in the car and listen to it as I drive. Sometimes I'll lose track in my listening but other times I will catch more words and phrases with incredible ease and in those times I rejoice and celebrate my success within me. There is no question the CI is a huge improvement over hearing aids, hands down! Life is good with the CI...

..though every once in a while I still experience very much an 'off day' and do not find the CI pleasant when I put it on in the morning. My brain can be tired, weary, stressed and that is not the ideal condition to be in. I am learning to accept that as a clue that I am not at my best and I need to take care of myself more - rest and release my high expectations of the CI. My emotions do get affected by its performance.

This Friday I will see my audiologist for some listening therapy. At this appointment I am to try out the hearing aid in the other ear and see if that enhances my ability to hear. I did try it once recently with the CI on the other side and was mortified to hear fragmented sounds coming through the hearing aid. It is obvious I have spent my LIFE listening through damaged ears. It is a humbling experience... I wonder if I will ever wear the hearing aid again. Time will tell.