the first month of activation

In the last week to 10 days the sounds going through my CI began to rise up and out of control and required stabilizing. My ability to understand speech without lipreading had dropped. I endured shrilling and unpleasant sounds. Yesterday I went back to the audiologist for some more adjustments that consisted mostly of changes in the high frequencies.

Today I will focus on one program that is quieter than any previous map I have had. My threshold for loudness seems to decrease as my auditory nerve awakens with exposure to sound. In two programs the two highest frequency electrodes were removed as a trial to see if I would understand speech better. This also changes the dynamics of the frequency range and means that I require additional time to adapt. As I write, I feel disoriented by the change in sounds going on in the house and my ability to think clearly is affected.

Today marks the first month of activation with this wild and fascinating device. Two days ago my youngest daughter had a piano performance in the International Music Festival. I had a chance to witness seven young children playing musical pieces. The ability to enjoy music with a fast beat versus a slow romantic piece became quite apparent to me. My brain is premature to decipher the faster pieces.

When I enter a new space or environment, I need time to acclimatize to background noise and voices. For example when I drive the car, park, turn off the engine and get out while a voice speaks to me, my brain is processing the sound change slowly which creates for me a delay to respond. I do experience a wide range of emotion - the anticipation to the clarity of sound and then fall into heavy wearyness when sounds overwhelm me and seem too electronic and unnatural.

I had an opportunity to spend yesterday afternoon and evening with a new CI friend who has been activated under a year. She had a short appointment following mine so we agreed to an early dinner at a mexican cafe. We then proceeded from shop to shop and walked and talked on the busy streets. She would share similar experiences that I am having right now. She would inform me with accuracy phrases that I spoke when she wasn't looking at me. It was great to witness her progress and to feel support and understanding. I am lucky to have a couple of CI friends that I can contact and seek for support.

Its time to move onward and approach a new day (and a new month) with these ongoing changes in sound perspective. I am learning to relax on this rollercoaster I am on..