My shopping adventure

This brain and body of mine has been wrestling with the vast array of foreign sound and vibrations. As I feel tired and 'disconnected', I have managed to keep myself as neutral as possible. I have three different programs in the processor to experiment with(also known as: P1, P2, and P3) The audiologist made a suggestion as we finished the monumental week-long programming session: he asked that I focus on one program, and allow it to sink in for a day, then do a rotation of programs in the following days. Saturday I stayed home using program 1 (P1) and took it quite easy, being attentive to human voices and allowing the brain to work through the echoing and squealing sounds. I did marvel at the few 'words' and some environmental sounds that were emerging through the cloud of noise.

My kitchen is the most uncomfortable room in the house as it echoes and booms sound inside me. (There is no cushioning or soft material to absorb sound.) For that reason I hesitated going to Safeway this afternoon. I will close the blog entry with a copy of my sisters email that she wrote to others, and passed on to me, following my experience.

As most of you know, my mother is recuperating well from her hip replacement surgery here, at our home. My sister, Suzy, is learning about life with her very recently switched on cochlear implant. This afternoon Suzy emailed me short instant message emails on her Blackberry from Safeway. It has been very exciting and emotional. She doesn't mind if I share these messages....

1. I'm at Safeway. I hear music playing. I've NEVER heard it before.

2. I wish someone was with me - but then nothing changes at Safeway. The trolley wheels are noisy. Is there music in Safeway? I've heard it before at small stores, but certainly not here.

3. I switched the programs in the processor. I'm definitely picking up more in one program (P1), not the one I've spent the day with (P2). In P1, its very cool to hear separations in sounds: the announcements, then wheels, then a person talking. Not all muffled noise. Now I have something to share in my blog tonight, if I ever get myself out of the store! I'm lingering slowly aisle to aisle.

4. I just asked where the graham crackers were. The guy responded.... (Ahhhgggg, I'm gonna CRY. I'm so emotional and embarrassed!).... I heard his voice in the NOISY Safeway, I didn't even clue-in till a few seconds later. then it hit me that I heard a VOICE was being spoken! Ill get a taste again when I face the cashiers.

5. Ill have to start carrying Kleenex around with me. I don't have any right now. I changed back to P2 (less dramatic = less emotional).

6. Cashier was a new young girl I couldn't hear. Looked like she might be mumbling and a little insecure. I spoke with another staff member I know. I did hear her voice for sure. On home and to have girls unload the car. I feel a bit dizzy now. Time for some down time.

7. I see I spent 2 hours in Safeway? What an adventure.

8. I don't know if I can write in my blog tonight. I'm overwhelmed.

9. Girls are unpacking groceries while I lay on couch. So grateful. Still on P2, and am noticing my brain seemed to "connect" with it later this afternoon.

10. My headnoise disappeared before Safeway. Now it started up again. (Must be auditory nerve stress.) I thought music is playing in the house. K said no.

11. I planned to update my blog tonight, but that may be too much for me. I need to rest up for my first day back at work tmw.