The week before the implant

I have been attentive to what I hear with my hearing aids. I have also been down with a cold virus and that may contribute to a further decrease in sound. I attended my daughters Christmas Band concert at their high school and could recall in the past the ability to hear bell sounds. Christmas music is familar to me, as I spent year after year looking forward to hearing the joy in the music. I have no clarity in my hearing now. The concert was a humble experience for me.I delighted in my children being there - they are playing music on the same night for the first time - as the youngest has now entered high school. My daughters were playing the Bass Clarinet and Alto Sax and I noticed that I didnt tap my feet to the beat.. I dont know where the beat is anymore. My interest in music has decreased for a few years and I really miss the joy I feel from the music. Often, in the car, I turn the radio on only to turn it off quickly as it sounds more like annoying noise - little makes sense. I have a few songs on dvd that I will play again and again if only to work at my listening skills, but I dont feel the intensity in the beat or tune. They are from Bad English (John Waite), and Bon Jovi, two of my favorites that I played passionately as early as five years ago.

My audiologist at the hospital had a look at five or six audiograms that I'd pulled out for him. My earliest one is at three years of age and he told me this week that he is optimistic for me - I would likely do well with the implant. When I see him in the hospital I would like him to explain his response further. There have been changes over the years, I was quite unaware at the extent of it when I looked at them side by side this week. Once I am activated with the CI, I plan to share the before and after results of my audiogram on my blog.

Today my mom arrives with the intent that when she gets here, she says I am going to have a nap. Obviously she senses I am not sleeping well. Are my words not coming out clearly?

You will find my history in growing up with hearing loss in the Links column. Click on it and you are there. All week my feelings and I swam in a mix of excitement and anxiety. I feel flat today - I think it has been an emotional month and I am tired now. My CI surgery is at 1pm on Monday. I have been told not to eat or drink anything after midnight the night before. That is a toughie. I will be put under for the two hour surgery, and expect to awake in the middle of the afternoon. My friends who have the implant assure me it is all not a big deal. I hope they are right.