an example of my progress

Last night I spent time at work in this Auditory Therapy site in CiHear.com under the link, "American English Pronunciation Practice."

These are an example of the words I was trying to decipher:

van/fan (I found this hard)
very/ferry (hard, again!)
safe/save (Phew, this was easy)
leave/leaf (Ah, ok, I got this)
lice/rice (I got 12 guesses right, and 2 wrong. I found it challenging, but am starting to recognize the R...)
low/row (8/2)
long/wrong (7/3)
shout/shot (6/4 - I started out weak but improved at last half)
cloud/clod (6/4)
pound/pond (5/5)
pout/pot (9/1)
these/z's (10/0)
breathe/breeze 10/0
clothing/closing 10/0
rhythm/risen 10/0
said/sad 5/5 (mostly guessing - I thought this would be easy.. not so!)
guess/gas 6/4

By this time I'd had enough. It was fun trying without any lipreading cues. This is excellent practice as I have no context of sentences to support my understanding.

Also, this week, I noticed that women's voices were sounding more fluid. Initially I found male voices easier to hear and their voices rich with bass. I found women's voices irritating (I say this with a sheepish grin) as the high frequency pitches in a female voice sounded raspy to me. The auditory nerve does take time to settle. This is so interesting to me because previous to the implant I preferred female voices for understanding. I take great pleasure in listening to anybody now! No more seclusion nor isolation - I am ready to take on the world!

the gift of words in my path

I have gone bilateral with the support of the hearing aid (HA) in the other ear. It was a strange start as it felt as though I had two brains processing different sound information at once. Thankfully it was a day or two before it blended together and became immersed and gave me hope. The reason for wearing the CI alone for two months was to allow the brain to adapt to it and become dependent on the CI information. The important thing is to ensure the HA doesn't dominate, because it doesn't give accurate information to the brain, but rather it provides some surround sound and can provide support to the CI. It also keeps the auditory nerve working (maybe one day I'll have surgery in the other ear though at present Canada does not do bilateral implants.) I have adapted to wearing the CI and HA very well. In this early phase, I often will turn off one or the other to compare the quality of sounds that I hear. The CI is the shining winner for processing sound and bringing clarity to my hearing.

I am listening to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on audiotape with the text in hand. This is a great and challenging read, and the narrator keeps me hooked to the dialogue. There are many words that aren't necessarily 'everyday words' and keep me attentive as these are words I recognize but have had inability to pronunciate them properly for now obvious reasons... because I hear more clearly now, I can decipher these advanced words and correct myself. It causes me to think about the significance of hearing loss and how we are affected by it. The ability to hear is truly a gift and that moves me to no end!

A turning moment happened for me right after my map update three weeks ago. While working at preschool, we had time for music and we danced rambunctiously to a CD. Suddenly I am alerted to a string of words I'd not noticed before. I asked a colleague, "Am I hearing, "Cha cha cha?" to which she replied, "Yes, the song is called "Bear - Cha Cha cha." I asked if it was something that had been played before... and she nodded positively. The chant mysteriously jumped out in this song that was formerly unrecognizable to me! All my life I have needed hours and hours of repetitive listening in a chance to recognize a song and to search, at times, desperately for lyrics! My sister and I spent many of our young years together with her vinyl record collection. She would assist me by pointing her finger to lyrics printed on the record jacket over and over until I could make some sense of the voice in the mix. (Thank you dear Di for your love and support.) Now I don't need as much guidance and can work on the benefit of the CI to relay precise sound information. Nowadays I am hearing with clarity words and phrases from all around me, even IN background noise and it gets so exciting! Along with hearing everything more than ever in my life, it is HEAVENLY to hear my two beautiful daughters with increasing ease, especially as they always have music playing nearby and it doesn't get in the way of my ability to understand them.

Following my mapping revision, I had the privilege to meet Rick Hansen who did the World In Motion Tour. An amazing and determined paraplegic, he wheeled for two years around the world to raise awareness and funds for spinal cord injury. In 1986 at the end of his tour,I witnessed him rolling into Vancouver in front of City Hall. Now was a chance to tell him what he did was so inspiring to all of us as it shows life doesn't need to stop with our challenges. We can still pursue our dreams. He showed interest in my CI experience, asking questions about its success. He expressed that he knows of another CI recipient who is on the board for one of the organizations I work for. It was an exciting moment to talk with this man who inspired so many people with and without disability. His words of wisdom are encouraging: "Someday a wheelchair will be a thing of the past found only in museums."
"When you set a goal you can accomplish it, if you set your mind to it. All you need to do is persevere."
This is a favorite: "There are no walls in life that you can't climb. Never give up."


My three weeks of late have been surrounded with words coming to me with increasing clarity and I am really enjoying this phase in my life. The misery I had with the first CI have all but become a blur in my memory. The hub of the school year-end has come to a close, and now I hope to focus on more auditory therapy through book tapes and in CiHear.com. I am especially eager to spend time with my family in the States and see what it is like to be in the family setting as there is alot of chatter when we get together. This is like Christmas - the gift of words in my path.

the doors blow down

I have been listening for two months now and have now recently reached my comfort zone. Two weeks ago I had a change to my map using what is called a "Gain" on 10 electrodes. I had expressed to the audiologist that I felt that these few electrodes were not working well for me. This significant feature 'Gain' I am not sure what the purpose is but it felt as if the loose and echoing signals I'd been having became settled and more rich with clarity. I felt a familiarity not unlike my former experience with a good hearing aid. The echoing stopped, the hissing of the running water and other issues have stopped bothering me and now I enter any new space comfortable and without much adjustment. It was quite an ordeal to enter the classroom with the little children's high pitched voices and that seems to be behind me now.

I have been practicing listening on the phone and am doing very well with familiar voices! My mom and I can carry a lengthy conversation without trouble. It is two months activation and I'd never have expected such a good result. Now I need phone buddies to practice with! I have a new landline phone, a cordless Panasonic 5.8 Gigahertz. It has a voice enhancer and voices are sounding better on it all the time. I also picked up a headset to plug into it and this makes a huge difference to the quality of hearing, mainly because the headset sits fixed over the microphone on the processor and eliminates any rubbing noise that I was enduring with holding the phone over the ear.

Last night I went to my daughters Year End Band Concert at their high school. What a joy that was - I still have a ways to go as far as making sense of some of the sounds but I felt connected to the event and I was tapping to the beat without trouble. The music teacher would speak into the mike and though I was able to pick more words than ever before, I wasn't able to understand what he was saying beyond the expected such as the name of a song about to be performed. (Of course the gym is not good for acoustics!) I used cues from the program flyer to recognize words. An enjoyable experience I had was being able to socialize in this setting and hear voices directly in front of me using a program on the processor called "Beam."

Last week I saw the girls receive their awards at a school-held ceremony. The acoustics were good in the auditorium. I was quite taken with the microphone used by the speakers. The words were coming through clear on my CI. It's got to get better next year when I can make out the speeches.

Most CI recipients share that it takes a year to be comfortable with the device and the listening ability continues to improve. I can only imagine what that might be like...if sounds for me are improved now, how much better can it get?? It's an exciting thought.

I experienced an afternoon in the park on the weekend and listened to a massive melody of birds singing. (That can get very noisy!) At one point a very loud and unfamiliar sound overwhelmed the space and when we searched for it, we found two squirrels on the tree making chatter. That was interesting! I never knew squirrels make such loud noises other than chew on nuts?

I've been listening to books on tape. What I do is read the book to the tape several times then take the tape with me in the car and listen to it as I drive. Sometimes I'll lose track in my listening but other times I will catch more words and phrases with incredible ease and in those times I rejoice and celebrate my success within me. There is no question the CI is a huge improvement over hearing aids, hands down! Life is good with the CI...

..though every once in a while I still experience very much an 'off day' and do not find the CI pleasant when I put it on in the morning. My brain can be tired, weary, stressed and that is not the ideal condition to be in. I am learning to accept that as a clue that I am not at my best and I need to take care of myself more - rest and release my high expectations of the CI. My emotions do get affected by its performance.

This Friday I will see my audiologist for some listening therapy. At this appointment I am to try out the hearing aid in the other ear and see if that enhances my ability to hear. I did try it once recently with the CI on the other side and was mortified to hear fragmented sounds coming through the hearing aid. It is obvious I have spent my LIFE listening through damaged ears. It is a humbling experience... I wonder if I will ever wear the hearing aid again. Time will tell.